Armchair therapists might not have bad intentions, but they can certainly stand in the way of actual progress. This World Mental Health Day, we take a dive into the world of armchair therapy.

Global (10 October 2024) — Until social media became an obscenely popular form of connection, casual talk about mental health was largely reserved for a therapy session, ‘woke’ media publications and (if you were lucky) a group of non-judgemental friends.

Thankfully, a lot has changed in a short space of time for humanity, to the point where (at least if you’re living in a liberal part of the world) you could freely tell someone you’re feeling anxious without the stomach-clenching fear that they’d think you crazy and try to pack you off to an asylum.

In fact, talking about mental health has become so popular, there are entire pages dedicated to the topic that have millions of followers, podcasts boasting just as impressive numbers and entirely new shoots of education dedicated to important fields within mental health.

It’s a positive change we’ve seen in our lifetime, one that’s taken us closer to empathy and further from disconnection. But, as we celebrate World Mental Health Day, there’s also a glaring elephant in the room: a lot of us are unknowingly becoming armchair therapists.

What is an Armchair Therapist?

Armchair therapists are people who are typically interested in psychology (or those who have even dealt with mental illness themselves) who then use their knowledge in ways that can become problematic, like diagnosing someone with no grounds to do so, accusing people of exhibiting certain traits without merit, or incorrectly giving advice on one mental health condition based on another. According to BetterHelp, these opinions largely come from the ‘logic and introspection of an untrained layperson’. Additionally, they can be guilty of misdiagnosing themselves.

‘That’s not me or anyone I know!’ You might think. But are you so sure?

How many times have you called an act ‘gaslighting’ without really understanding the term? Or deemed someone a narcissist simply because they talked about themselves a little too much? Heard someone jump to the conclusion that a person has an avoidant attachment style because they take yonks to respond, or told you that they probably have ADHD because they simply cannot tell a story chronologically? Ever diagnosed yourself based on a hunch?

Maybe you haven’t. But there are a lot of us who unknowingly have. And it’s a pretty big elephant in the room that stands in the way of mental health progress.

Why Armchair Therapists Aren’t Necessarily a Friend to Progress

It’s wonderful to be informed on a topic. In fact, it’s critical! But, when you start taking on a role you’re not qualified for (like a psychologist or psychiatrist is), things can get sticky.

Never mind the way it can lead us to become more biased and stereotypical of others; it can also give us a pseudo-sense of authority when it comes to our own mental health. Not to mention, not all armchair therapists are as informed as they claim to be, which means a lot of misinformation can be spread to trusting people.

The problematic part doesn’t just come in that you or someone you know might not actually have a certain disorder at all and are treating the case as such.  It also isn’t just that you might be acting as a bandaid of support for someone you care about when, in reality, they need professional care.

At the core, the issue is in really knowing what exactly you’re dealing with when it comes to the beautiful and complex beast that is your brain. Because if you don’t, or stand in the way of someone else getting support, healing and coping becomes a helluva lot harder.

Why the Armchair Therapy Phenomenon

We’re all inundated with content in the Age of Socials (which is its own Pandora’s Box of mental health concerns—yes, we’re looking at you Digital Addiction). So, it’s not surprising that we’re dealing with the Armchair Therapy movement.

And the algorithms feed this. Google whether you have an anxiety disorder just once, and suddenly your TikTok feed brims with anxiety-related content. Let’s not forget ChatGPT. Pretty soon, it’s turtles all the way down.

Additionally, because many psychological challenges share similarities—it’s very easy to confuse one for another when you are untrained. A great example that’s widely spoken about in psychological literature is the similarities between ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder (which can both be present at the same time). Or confusing Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with social anxiety and vice versa.

Another reason it becomes easy to play Armchair Therapist is that a lot of symptoms of mental health conditions are things most of us have experienced at one point or another, which creates a false sense of relatability. Think about it this way: we all need to use the toilet as humans. It’s something we can all relate to. But, if you need to go 40 times a day, every single day, something is probably afoot.

We Owe it to Ourselves and Those We Love to Point Them in the Right Direction.

As we take time to reflect on World Mental Health Day, it’s worth considering that openness and room to talk are the first step, but not the end of the journey. Just as it is with any medical condition, healing can’t really start until the actual cause is understood.

Seeking professional support is imperative in many mental health journeys, and the more armchair therapists who turn into allies and point their loved ones in the right, expert-approved direction, the more hope we have for a world filled with healthier and happier minds.

Sources: GTG; Various (Linked Above)

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Crocheters have shown us time and time again the difference their talents can make in the world, from sustainable endeavours to social upliftment. But crochet can also be a positive force in your own world! The pros fill us in on how:

South Africa (12 September 2024) — Deemed for far too long as simply a hobby, the art of crochet can make a lot more than gorgeous creations. But, even if budding crocheters aren’t planning on using those needles for massive endeavours, make no mistake—it’s a powerful skillset that could greatly impact your own world for the better.

With today marking International Crochet Day, masters of the skill at Re.Bag.Re.Use are sharing some lesser-known benefits of joining the crocheters’ clan!

In case you didn’t know, Re.Bag.Re.Use have used crochet skills to make a big difference in the world of sustainability, all while empowering local communities.

Over three years, Regine le Roux’s lockdown-born idea has helped repurpose nearly 100,000 empty bread bags into different items, from handbags to hats. Not only has this greatly helped combat the plastic waste problem we face in South Africa, but it has also served as a social effort that’s invested in local communities and charities. Needless to say, what was born from a love of crochet has certainly made a mark on the world straight from Hout Bay.

Today, the team extends from Hout Bay to Cape Town, Pretoria and Mpumalanga, with 21 women on board.

How Crochet Can Make Your World a Better Place

Stress Relief and Meaning at a Low Cost

A better world certainly sounds a lot like one that’s less stressed and is filled with meaning. With rhythmic and repetitive motions aplenty, crocheting is known to have a calming, almost meditative effect. But beyond this, it also helps people learn how to create something meaningful out of very little.

Re.Bag.Re.Use’s Hlezipi Mnungi shares:

“Crocheting is not only a form of relaxation but also an opportunity to create something meaningful. What I love most about crocheting is that it’s simple, and with Re.Bag.Re.Use, we can make waste look chic and fashionable. It doesn’t cost anything to practice this hobby; all you need is a crochet needle and a pair of scissors. You don’t need much experience to make something out of nothing—all you need is passion, patience, and love for what you do.”

Cognitive Skills Booster

The Re.Bag.Re.Use team share that it’s also a fantastic way to boost cognitive skills, due to the focus and concentration required. They add that some studies suggest mindful activities like this can even help stave off cognitive decline!

Fine Motor Skills Enhancement

Because of the intricate hand movements involved, hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills get sharpened. This can make crocheting a super beneficial activity for those recovering from injuries or those seeking to maintain dexterity.

That Crochet-Approved Sense of Accomplishment

Most humans are driven by the boost dopamine gives us, and few things do that better than completing a project. Especially when you’re using materials like recycled plastic, that boost can often be even bigger in a double whammy, making yourself and the environment proud.

Weaving Social Connections

Whether you’re still learning or are a pro, craft groups and crochet circles are a fantastic way to be a part of a community!

Cheaper Than Therapy

When it comes to managing mental health, many might think of seeing a therapist only to realise the costs are striking. If you’re in a place where you need to do some mental spring-cleaning but aren’t in such a dire pinch you need professional psychological help, jumping aboard the crochet train can be a fantastic feat for the following reasons:

• Anxiety management
• Sense of control
• Productivity
• Connection to others
• Relaxation
• Distraction from distressing thoughts

Sources: Supplied—Re.Bag.Re.Use 

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Or watch an episode of Good Things TV below, a show created to offer South Africans balance in a world with what feels like constant bad news. We’re here to remind you that there are still so many good things happening in South Africa & we’ll leave you feeling a little more proudly South African.

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A brilliant initiative designed to help South Africans ease their brains and reduce stress for free has officially been launched! Meet the Earthchild Project’s ‘Take 5’:

South Africa (08 August 2024) — The Earthchild Project has launched a brilliant initiative designed to support the betterment of our brains, mental health and well-being across South Africa—the ‘Take 5’ initiative!

‘Take 5’ is a positive solution to more and more South Africans dealing with stress, anxiety and general mental health disruption by offering people access to a free and practical tool to help us all relax, recharge and become more resilient as individuals and as communities in the pursuit of a more peaceful South Africa.

Because the little moments of stress can add up so significantly to the point that we forget that our most overwhelming moments happen as their own version of a ‘death by a thousand paper cuts’, the same should be said for the opposite: little calm moments can add up to big moments of peace.

One of the best ways to integrate mindfulness and little calm moments into our daily lives is by meditating—which is exactly what the Earthchild Project is sharing with all of us.

Through a free meditation track, the initiative is offering a no-cost experience designed to help us all prioritise self-care a little more. To date, over 12,000 people have already signed up for their ‘Take 5’ experience.

How ‘Take 5’ Works

When participants sign up, Earthchild will provide them with a free 5-minute mediation track so they can quite literally take 5 in their own spaces and time every day during the month of September.

In a bigger nod to accessibility, the audio meditation is available in multiple languages including English, isiXhosa, isiZulu, seSotho and Afrikaans. The audio is designed for everyone across South Africa regardless of age, gender, culture or location.

1. Visit the Take 5 website.
2. Sign up
3. Choose your preferred language
4. Join the WhatsApp Channel Link

Sources: Earthchild Project—Supplied 

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Or watch an episode of Good Things TV below, a show created to offer South Africans balance in a world with what feels like constant bad news. We’re here to remind you that there are still so many good things happening in South Africa & we’ll leave you feeling a little more proudly South African.

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Imari-Kenya is the minister of adorable advice! She might only be a kid, but this little girl has tons of wisdom (and humour) to share. From reminding us that our spirits are love to her recent advice, “take your pie and waai”, we might just be looking at SA’s next favourite motivational speaker:

South Africa (24 July 2024) — While we all grew up believing that kids should listen to their elders, the tables have certainly turned in the 2020s with more adults listening to their little ones thanks to a new generation of parenting and, of course, the internet. Ever had a child give you advice that somehow made more sense than any self-help book? Well, if you haven’t, Imari-Kenya—the kid who has warmed South African hearts everywhere with her adorable advice—is here to remind you that sometimes kids do know best.

Imari’s wise words (which often begin with her catchphrase “One thing about two things”) have reached millions of people on TikTok—many of whom have praised her for her wisdom, humour and sass in its most pure form and her creative confidence!

The minister of adorable advice has shared a lot of food for thought that often reminds us to always be ourselves, go with the flow, get our facts straight and to never let the ‘buggerness’ bug us.

Don’t Let the Buggerness Bug You

@iman_imaris_mum word for the week-buggerness #mzansicomedy #SAMA28 #fridayqueen #chefimari #mzansitiktok #1thingabout2things #southafrica #imarikenyasmom ♬ original sound – Iman James

Your Spirit is Love!

@iman_imaris_mum I needed this one today #SAMA28 #mzansicomedy #imarikenyasmom #imarikenya #mzansitiktok #mzansiforsho #fridayqueen #proudlysouthafrican #1thingabout2things #chefimari #2024 ♬ original sound – Iman James

If Your Facts Aren’t Straight, You’ll Have to Deal with Cyril Ramaphosa

@iman_imaris_mum again with Cyril Ramaphosa #SAMA28 #fridayqueen #imarikenya #southafrica #imarikenya #1thingabout2things #bafanabafana #mzansicomedy #mzansitiktok ♬ original sound – Iman James

Sources: TikTok 

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Do you have something to add to this story? Please share it in the comments or follow GoodThingsGuy on Facebook & Twitter to keep up to date with good news as it happens, or share your good news with us by clicking here or click the link below to listen to the Good Things Guy Podcast with Brent Lindeque – South Africa’s very own Good Things Guy. He’s on a mission to change what the world pays attention to, and he truly believes there’s good news around us. In the Good Things Guy podcast, you’ll meet these everyday heroes & hear their incredible stories:

Or watch an episode of Good Things TV below, a show created to offer South Africans balance in a world with what feels like constant bad news. We’re here to remind you that there are still so many good things happening in South Africa & we’ll leave you feeling a little more proudly South African.

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Miss South Africa, Natasha Joubert, got real about the beauty of saying goodbye to the dreams we’ve realised. In a transparent and teary session, she reflected on the end of her reign in the same way a friend would—reminding us that even the biggest dreamers and achievers go through the grief of an era ending:

South Africa (23 July 2024) — Life may be a stage, but it is not an endless scene. At multiple points, we are forced to change wardrobe, take deep breaths as we prepare for the next act, and, of course, bid farewell to the characters we met (and have been) along the way. Transitioning is never easy, especially when it means the end of an era we worked so hard to experience. Often, we’d much rather talk about the journey instead of its ending. But the ending is its own journey and story worth telling. And, the more we get real about that, the more we normalise the beauty of saying goodbye–which is exactly what current Miss South Africa Natasha Joubert did recently by opening up about the end of her reign.

Taking to her Instagram stories, a teary-eyed Natasha assured her audience that these were “good tears”. True to the refreshing openness South Africa has come to know and love her for, Miss SA got real about the end of her era and reign as the darling of our country—something many people who have had to prepare for the end of their own dream-come-true chapters will resonate with.

For Natasha, it’s about accepting that in three weeks, the best year of her life and one brimming with so much purpose and fulfilment, is coming to an end.

“Why don’t we talk about how hard it is to end off a reign and such a special chapter in one’s life?” Natasha mused aloud before leading into an open expression of what her version of that looks like right now. 

Joking about how she has already had therapy sessions about this, Natasha showed South Africa a side we don’t often see when it comes to highly publicised achievements and even shared that the question ‘What’s Next?’ can be triggering as she is yet to answer that question for herself.

Miss South Africa’s ‘tears of gratitude and reflection’ moments remind us that even those who have had the country’s eyes on them are just people. And that the experience of grieving a dream realised is something universal.

From leaving a job we loved to switching passions and preparing to find a new dream in a future unwritten, there’s something to be said about grieving the chapters of our lives we’ve loved dearly.

But as Natasha says, it’s okay if something isn’t going to be the exact same or give us the same sense of purpose. And as she’ll be responding to all those who ask her what’s next:

“Don’t ask me what’s next, we’ll find out together.” 

Sources: Natasha Joubert 

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Or watch an episode of Good Things TV below, a show created to offer South Africans balance in a world with what feels like constant bad news. We’re here to remind you that there are still so many good things happening in South Africa & we’ll leave you feeling a little more proudly South African.

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Today, thousands of runners, both pros and amateurs, are tackling the world’s most famous ultramarathon. But, instead of just enjoying the Comrades, why not let it inspire you to get moving for your own mental and physical health? Psychiatrist Dr James Burger weighs in:

South Africa (9 June 2024) — As thousands of professional and amateur runners undertake the world’s largest ultramarathon today (the Comrades) psychiatrist Dr James Burger of the South African Society of Psychiatrists (SASOP) says instead of just watching others at their peak physical condition, be inspired use physical activity as a powerful tool in managing your own mental health!

“This is not to say that everyone needs to run marathons, but we like to aim for physical activity in some form every day, all year round, which has proven to be beneficial for people struggling with depression, anxiety, dementia, ADHD and other mental health conditions. Even gentle activity such as walking can have lasting impacts,” says Dr Burger. 

Mental Health Doesn’t Just Impact the Mind

One in four South Africans experience depression[i]^{, [ii]}, and mental health conditions are the leading cause of disability both locally,[iii] and worldwide[iv],  however, only a quarter of those affected seek and receive treatment. These conditions affect a person’s quality of life, cause distress, and can impact their ability to function at home, in relationships, and in their occupations.

Mental health-related absenteeism in the workplace is estimated to cost the South African economy R19 billion annually in lost productivity,[v] and facilitating opportunities for employees to get physically fit, would likely benefit their mental fitness too, Dr Burger indicates

“With the high prevalence of depression and other mental health conditions in South Africa, while only 25% receive appropriate treatment – due to stigma as well as lack of access to mental health care – exercise can be an affordable and accessible ‘protective factor’ that can make a substantial difference to improving the nation’s mental health, wellbeing, and functioning,” he adds.

Mental Health and Physical Health Work Together

Dr Burger explains that studies have shown that the effect of exercise and physical activity on mental health outcomes could be, in fact, even larger than for physical conditions like heart disease and cancer.[vi]

“In mild cases of depression, exercise is an effective first-line treatment and in more severe cases, boosts the effect of medication. Evidence[vii] continues to show that adding exercise is better than no treatment, and has positive effects combined with anti-depressants in reducing depressive symptoms and thoughts of suicide.”

Beyond improving mood and anxiety, exercise also offers significant improvements for thinking and memory. Exercise can slow down the effects of dementia and protects intellectual, decision-making and attention functions in cases of mild dementia,[viii] while SASOP’s guidelines for the management of ADHD recommend exercise as a powerful non-medication treatment.[ix]

Dr Burger said exercise had positive mental health effects on brain networks, helping to regulate the neurotransmitters serotonin and noradrenaline that play a role in mood and cognitive functions, releasing the “happy hormone” endorphins, and reducing brain inflammation and stress.

“Exercise also has positive psycho-social effects, distracting from negative thoughts and stimulating positive thoughts and feelings of well-being and positive body image, and reducing feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.

“Physical activity creates positive feelings through the experience of being challenged, exercising autonomy, self-control and personal mastery, and through the sense of achievement that comes with mastering a new skill and self-improvement. It can also contribute to social connectedness and support, and a feeling of belonging,” he said.

Struggling to Get Moving? Here are Some Tips!

Dr Burger says if you are experiencing depression start small since depression can affect energy levels and cause withdrawal, limiting one’s ability to do tasks and activities.

“Depression turns our view of ourselves negative, and it can be useful to have objective measures of progress such as journals or professionals helping to supervise the process. Continue to lean towards more physical activity and build on progress.”

“Most important is to find what you enjoy, an activity that is sustainable because the pleasure you get out of it means you are more likely to keep at it. And remember that anything is better than nothing, and don’t let perfect be the enemy of good,” he encourages.

• Set a start date and a clear, manageable goal.
• Give yourself permission to set aside time for exercise. Even walking for 10 minutes a day and building from there is a good start.
• Focus on the positive impacts on your mental state, which are more immediate, rather than expecting quick results in physical fitness.
• Focus on your own self-discovery and social relationships gained through exercise, rather than prioritising performance and competition.
• Try to get outdoors and have a social aspect to a physical activity, and an activity that is repeatable, as this is especially beneficial for positive mood, enjoyment and a sense of achievement.
• Look for opportunities to get moving and be less sedentary at home, at work, in leisure time and in daily transport – such as active workstations or walking meetings at work, and using the stairs instead of the lift.
• Group activities and supervision, such as a team sport or exercise/movement group class, can help to keep you motivated, involved and connected to other people.

Resources:

• [i] Mapanga W, Mtintsilana A, Dlamini SN, Ware LJ, Du Toit J, Draper CE, Richter L and Norris SA (2022). The prevalence of probable depression and probable anxiety, and associations with adverse childhood experiences and socio-demographics: A national survey in South Africa. Front. Public Health 10:986531. doi: 10.3389/fpubh.2022.986531

• [ii] University of the Witwatersrand. 2022. “Mental health in SA is at shocking levels but people are not seeking help”. https://www.wits.ac.za/news/latest-news/research-news/2022/2022-11/mental-health-in-sa-is-at-shocking-levels-but-people-are-not-seeking-help-.html

• [iii] Achoki T, Sartorius B, Watkins D, et al. Health trends, inequalities and opportunities in South Africa’s provinces, 1990-2019: findings from the global burden of disease 2019 study. J Epidemiol Community Health 2022; 76:471–81.

• [iv] WHO. 2017. “Depression: let’s talk” says WHO, as depression tops list of causes of ill health. https://www.who.int/news/item/30-03-2017–depression-let-s-talk-says-who-as-depression-tops-list-of-causes-of-ill-health

• [v] EAP-SA. 2023. https://www.eapasa.co.za/the-state-of-mental-health-in-south-africa/

• [vi] Posadzki, P., Pieper, D., Bajpai, R. et al. Exercise/physical activity and health outcomes: an overview of Cochrane systematic reviews. BMC Public Health 20, 1724 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-020-09855-3

• [vii] Lam RW, Kennedy SH, Adams C, et al. Canadian Network for Mood and Anxiety Treatments (CANMAT) 2023 Update on Clinical Guidelines for Management of Major Depressive Disorder in Adults: Réseau canadien pour les traitements de l’humeur et de l’anxiété (CANMAT) 2023 : Mise à jour des lignes directrices cliniques pour la prise en charge du trouble dépressif majeur chez les adultes. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry. 2024;0(0).  doi:10.1177/07067437241245384

• [viii] Huang X, Zhao X, Li B, Cai Y, Zhang S, Wan Q, Yu F. Comparative efficacy of various exercise interventions on cognitive function in patients with mild cognitive impairment or dementia: A systematic review and network meta-analysis. J Sport Health Sci. 2022 Mar;11(2):212-223. doi: 10.1016/j.jshs.2021.05.003. Epub 2021 May 16. PMID: 34004389; PMCID: PMC9068743.

• [ix] Schoeman R, Liebenberg R. The South African Society of Psychiatrists/Psychiatry Management Group management guidelines for adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. S Afr J Psychiat. 2017;23(0), a1060. https://doi.org/10.4102/sajpsychiatry.v23i0.1060

Sources: Linda Christensen

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Do you have something to add to this story? Please share it in the comments or follow GoodThingsGuy on Facebook & Twitter to keep up to date with good news as it happens, or share your good news with us by clicking here or click the link below to listen to the Good Things Guy Podcast with Brent Lindeque – South Africa’s very own Good Things Guy. He’s on a mission to change what the world pays attention to, and he truly believes there’s good news around us. In the Good Things Guy podcast, you’ll meet these everyday heroes & hear their incredible stories:

Or watch an episode of Good Things TV below, a show created to offer South Africans balance in a world with what feels like constant bad news. We’re here to remind you that there are still so many good things happening in South Africa & we’ll leave you feeling a little more proudly South African.

The post Let the Comrades Inspire You to Get Moving for Your Mental Health appeared first on Good Things Guy.

When people ask you what superpower you would want, you might think of flying or reading minds. But there’s one superpower that doesn’t live in science-fiction books, and it might just be one of the most empowering everyday superpowers around:

Global (03 March 2024) — One of the most uncomfortable lessons we learn over and over again in life is coping with things not turning out the way we wanted them to. But the more doors we knock on, the more opportunities we are likely going to be invited into. What holds us back from knocking, of course, is the same thing that teaches us to cope with disappointment—rejection!

So, what if we could make being comfortable with rejection a superpower?

Rejection takes many shapes and forms. We can experience social rejection, competence rejection, perceived rejection and rejection sensitivity among many other kinds. None of these sound like a good time because none of them are at first glance. But what if the actual rejection part of the narrative isn’t as problematic as our responses to these perceived threats?

Anxiety, blame, negative self-talk, aggression and even depression can all surface from scenarios where our minds have interpreted an experience to encompass rejection. We’re social creations who want to belong, want things to go the way we intend, and want to avoid pain at all costs.

But these integral parts of us aren’t always our friends, and can actually stand in the way of us even trying to put ourselves in a position that might be the best risk we ever take, simply because we might be rejected.

So what can we do about it?

We need to make being comfortable with rejection a superpower. And this starts with understanding that rejection is only as meaningful as it is perceived to be.

We, society and influences allocate meaning to our experiences; experiences do not allocate meaning to themselves. So, here are 3 simple ways to turn the narrative on rejection:

This is Happening for Me, Not to Me

Shift that victim mindset! If we train our minds to believe that things are happening for us, not to us, we are more likely to find the positive in the experience. So the girl you asked out on a date said no. Well, maybe you dodged a bullet you’ll only see with hindsight. Or maybe you got fired from a job you loved, only to discover that a better opportunity did become available when you had the time to look for it.

Every Rejection Holds a Lesson

There are few things as powerful as seeing tough experiences as lessons. But when we do, we are in a better standing to consciously take notes from it.

This takes a willingness to separate yourself and your emotions from the experience. Maybe you were underprepared for that job interview. Or maybe the conversation topics you brought to the dinner conversation with new people were not something everyone could talk on; which led to people changing the subject and you feeling ‘dismissed’.

When we think about situations objectively, we empower ourselves to be critical constructively.

It Was Good for the Plot

One of my personal favourites. Rejection isn’t easy, but maybe the risk you took was really good for the plot that is your life’s story. You did something bold, and it didn’t go as planned. But if you were a character and your life’s story was a book, maybe that’s exactly the moment of character development you needed to be braver. Or maybe it’ll make a really funny story that will become your kid’s favourite ‘when I was young’ tale one day.

I have a friend who once almost made the provincial team for a sport because she decided to take a risk. She’d only been playing it for a few months and decided one day to do something bold when the string of trials came around, despite being severely underqualified. Guess what? She made it all the way to the finals of trials. Yes, she did get rejected in the end, but she went way further than she’d ever imagined. And that confidence boost was worth its weight in accolades.

See, rejection isn’t always a negative thing. And it isn’t always a positive thing. It’s okay to feel disappointed and discouraged—just not for too long. But when being comfortable with this sensation our brains have dramatised becomes your superpower, you’ll find yourself building a story of your life where you aren’t insecure about what could go wrong, but secure in knowing that you’ll find a way to be alright.

Sources:  GTG

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Or watch an episode of Good Things TV below, a show created to offer South Africans balance in a world with what feels like constant bad news. We’re here to remind you that there are still so many good things happening in South Africa & we’ll leave you feeling a little more proudly South African.

The post Free Therapy Sundays: Why Being Comfortable with Rejection is a Super Power  appeared first on Good Things Guy.

Going for your first clinical breast cancer check-up is such an important way to find out if there are any red flags you should be informed of (even if you don’t think anything is wrong). If you’ve never been before, here’s what this kind of check-up is all about!

South Africa (20 February 2024) — Although Breast Cancer Awareness Month is in October, this by no means indicates that you should wait until then to go for a regular check-up! Nipping concerns in the bud is hugely helpful when it comes to most matters of our health, but when it comes to matters of our boobs, it can sometimes be hard to tell when there’s a red flag or just our bodies doing their thing.

Let’s get a few stressors out of the way. Yes, the mere thought of going for a clinical breast cancer check-up is daunting. I kept thinking to myself ‘Am I inviting news I don’t want to hear?’ writes GTG’s Ashleigh. Yes, it is scary being in a pretty vulnerable position where your breasts are at the mercy of a doctor’s hands (but hey, if you’re no stranger to the gynie or even a bikini wax, you’re already way prepared). Despite the resistant feelings you might experience beforehand, I can safely say that by far, what’s more daunting and scary is the not knowing if something is wrong.

What is a Clinical Breast Cancer Check Up?

Also referred to as a clinical breast cancer screening, this is when your doctor uses their gloved hands to investigate your breast health. No mammograms at this point; they are simply checking for any red flags that might signal breast cancer. While you can and should also do this kind of check up at home, going for a regular professional-approved check up (at least once a year) is worth setting time aside for.

What to Expect

You need to share:

• The breast cancer history in your family
• The pill you are taking (if taking one)
• Any abnormalities that have worried you (suspicious lumps, changes in your breast appearance or even armpit concerns)
• Other medical conditions/medication you are on
• Your lifestyle (if you’re a smoker or drink regularly, it’s time to lay your cards on the table)

The doctor is going to look for:

• Any concerning lumps in your breast tissue. Because breast tissue can itself feel quite lumpy, it can be confusing for you to feel a lump yourself. As my doctor explained to me, worrying lumps are hard and feel almost the size of a pea
• Lumps in your armpit region. Auxiliary lumps spotted in the armpits can be a signal of breast cancer, so when you’re doing self-exams, always make sure to check there too!
• Nipple and areola: shape, unusual discharge and any other visible indicators on the skin (like dimpling or swelling)

Good to know:

• As my doctor explained, when it comes to breast cancer, oftentimes concerning symptoms lie under the skin. Breasts can get pimples and even cysts just like other part of the body, so if you spot these, don’t automatically assume the worst—just get it checked out!

Things to Ask

Considering your doctor knows your health history, make sure to ask the following questions:

• The cancer-related risks of any birth control you are on
• Lifestyle factors that could be changed to decrease cancer-chances
• Dietary factors that could be changed to decrease cancer-chances
• If there is anything about your menstrual cycle that you need to keep your eye on

When do I need to go for a mammogram?

• Regular mammograms are typically recommended for women older than 40 if your doctor has not recommended them after a check-up. Factors like cancer and family history can shift the age you can start going for your regulars, so ask the doctor!
• For women younger, self-exams and clinical breast cancer check ups are a great way to keep yourself in the loop. But again, your personal health history and risk factors play a big role, so ask the doctor if your check ups need to be more regular.

Whether you think you have nothing to worry about or think you’ve spotted a red flag, the more you know the better your chances of taking care of yourself no matter the outcome!

Sources: GTG

Don’t ever miss the Good Things. Download the Good Things Guy App now on Apple or Google. 

Do you have something to add to this story? Please share it in the comments or follow GoodThingsGuy on Facebook & Twitter to keep up to date with good news as it happens, or share your good news with us by clicking here or click the link below to listen to the Good Things Guy Podcast with Brent Lindeque – South Africa’s very own Good Things Guy. He’s on a mission to change what the world pays attention to, and he truly believes there’s good news around us. In the Good Things Guy podcast, you’ll meet these everyday heroes & hear their incredible stories:

Or watch an episode of Good Things TV below, a show created to offer South Africans balance in a world with what feels like constant bad news. We’re here to remind you that there are still so many good things happening in South Africa & we’ll leave you feeling a little more proudly South African.

The post What to Expect (and Ask) at Your First Clinical Breast Cancer Check Up appeared first on Good Things Guy.

February tells us about all kinds of love. But one of the most misunderstood, is self-love! We all love self-care Saturdays, but the self-love journey is about a lot more than just that.

Global (04 February 2024) — February is the month of love (at least, in every commercial sense), but it’s also something even better: another month. Another month to choose yourself. Another month to learn about yourself. To try again. To try something new. To look inward a little more, and see just how much your outer world changes because of it. Another turn on the journey of self-love that might just be the most important turn you take.

The journey of self-love is a book that many have claimed to have written. But ultimately, it is not one that has any kind of typical format. The chapters are going to be inconsistent. The character-development doesn’t come when you expect it. And the big spoiler: it does not have an ending. So why would anyone go on such a confusing adventure?

Because unlike most books where the author writes a set story, in the self-love journey, the character can change it at any time through perspective. Self-love is one of the greatest tools we have in shaping how we see our stories.

There’s a lot about self-love that seems enchanting. Buying yourself flowers as if you were in a relationship with you IS a dopamine rush. Choosing your peace over people-pleasing too has a great ring to it.

But the reality of the self-love journey lies beneath all of this. And if this is a journey you’re going to go on, here’s what you need to prepare yourself for:

Your Self-Story Won’t Be an Easy Write

The self-story is, very simply, the story we are telling ourselves about ourselves. Constantly. It also happens to be one of the most important travel companions on the self-love journey; just like any great book should be.

But, if we are constantly telling ourselves we are not enough, useless, unlovable, broken or unintelligent, we are also telling our confirmation bias (a way our minds filter important information) how to view the events of in our worlds. What perspective to give these happenings. And through this, we might find ourselves picking parts of the story that fit (you guessed it) the toxic self-story.

So, what if we did the opposite?

It takes a lot of work to break out of years of beliefs and mindsets. But our minds are not set in stone masterpieces. If the self-story starts to change, so too do what our minds look for in the world around us to once again, affirm the new story and new beliefs. It doesn’t happen in a microwave minute, but with enough consistency, the change cooks.

Thought Check-Ins Count

How we speak to ourselves decides a lot of what we think of ourselves. And in turn, the way we view our lives. Which shifts the way we live our lives. This all begins with our thoughts. And not necessarily what they are, but how we react to them.

Taking all of our thoughts on as truths is a one-way ticket down the mountain slope. They are complex constellations, and fascinating at times, but by no means universal truths. Sometimes, they are not even our own opinions, but a voice of those who have influenced us for the better or worse.

We’re constantly being shaped by all the stimulus we absorb every single day, which, when you think about it, is exhausting in the ‘did I really just run 10 kilometres the wrong way’ kind of way.

One of the toughest parts of the self-love journey is to get to the root of how our self-story is formed, which is also an exercise, but one that runs in the right direction.

Thought check-ins don’t need to be long and elaborate. They simply mean allowing a thought to pass and instead of reacting to it immediately, taking a moment to check in, instead. Is the thought helpful or harmful? Is it helping you write the self-story you need to write? What purpose does it serve?

Of course, you can’t do this for every single thought you have. But for the big ones, the ones that evoke emotion, it can make all the difference because you’re taking your power back.

The Tea on Accountability

Let’s get out of our heads for a moment. Say we’re working on our self-stories and checking in on our thoughts. We’re replacing negative views of ourselves with accepting ones. Positive ones. Understanding ones. But what about when we take away the shame and fears and realise, objectively, that we were wrong?

Self-love is not a get-out-of-jail-free card for behaviours. In fact, the people who have been on the road of inner discovery for a long time know that the highest form of self-love is being able to be accountable without getting tangled up in spirals of emotional messes.

On the self-love journey, we have to give to ourselves what we expect from others. This means, if you expect someone else to think about their actions and make a matter right, but refuse to do the same for them because you ‘love and forgive yourself’ you’ve gotten the message confused. You can love and forgive yourself while still stepping up and making something right. You can set boundaries whilst taking on accountability and knowing that you too, need to respect the boundaries of others.

Self-Care Looks a Lot Like Being a Parent

Every part of the self-love journey is a form of parenting yourself. From unlearning the mindsets of others or your own self-sabotaging ways to making sure you eat your greens and take care of the body that’s housing your self-story and thoughts.

Being responsible for yourself is a huge part of self-love. What that means, isn’t simply doing what you want because it makes you happy. But doing what you need that will make your journey gentler and happier for the long-haul. Spa Days are great. But so is making sure you go on a walk for the day and making that a habit. Taking time for yourself is important, but keeping in touch with people, even on the days you don’t feel like it, also matters.

The self-love journey is balance. And oftentimes, doing what you don’t feel like doing if it aligns with your new self-story. If that story looks like someone who is healthy, has good relationships and is working toward their dreams, you’ve got to fill in the pages. And by mastering your relationship with your thoughts, you allow that story to exist without resistance.

All of these points alone aren’t the answer to self-love. But they are some of the right questions. And by starting here, in this month, in this time while flowers circulate and chocolate hearts fill up shopping cards, you’re giving yourself a gift no one else ever can.

Sources: GTG

Don’t ever miss the Good Things. Download the Good Things Guy App now on Apple or Google. 

Do you have something to add to this story? Please share it in the comments or follow GoodThingsGuy on Facebook & Twitter to keep up to date with good news as it happens, or share your good news with us by clicking here or click the link below to listen to the Good Things Guy Podcast with Brent Lindeque – South Africa’s very own Good Things Guy. He’s on a mission to change what the world pays attention to, and he truly believes there’s good news around us. In the Good Things Guy podcast, you’ll meet these everyday heroes & hear their incredible stories:

Or watch an episode of Good Things TV below, a show created to offer South Africans balance in a world with what feels like constant bad news. We’re here to remind you that there are still so many good things happening in South Africa & we’ll leave you feeling a little more proudly South African.

The post Free Therapy Sundays: The Self-Love Journey Requires Tough Love appeared first on Good Things Guy.

Entering the world after school as a young adult is a big, exciting chapter! What makes it even more exciting? Not going broke in your first week:

South Africa (23 January 2024) — Last week, we celebrated so many South Africans officially ending their high school days. The results had us pretty damn proud of the South African youth as we indulged in hope and excitement for the future ahead. But, as much as it pains us to write, it can’t all be champagne-popping and motivational quotes. As anyone who has ever been a young adult before knows, reality can hit like a ton of bricks—especially if the word ‘budgeting’ makes you roll your eyes and having your own money is a foreign concept.

First, let’s debunk some of the less-inviting parts of budgeting’s reputation because there are many:

No, it isn’t only for people with a lot of responsibilities and endless bills. Or people who are cash-strapped. Budgeting also doesn’t mean that ‘money rules your life’. Nor does it restrict your freedom—in fact, more often than not, in the long run, it’s the converse!

What it does do, is give you a grip on something that can very quickly wriggle out of control.

As a young adult who may never have had control of your own money before, getting a head start on budgeting is actually a big act of love for yourself. And taking care of yourself is something you’re going to have to get used to, so you best act with love.

Whether you’re about to start work, go to university, follow your passion by working part-time, or take a gap year on an allowance, this is the one lesson that no matter which part of your life you’re in or get to, will always stay relevant.

How to Make Your Budget Work Wonders: Young Adult Edition

1. Make Sure Your Budget is in Your Face

Your budget needs to be front of mind. Borderline annoyingly accessible. This not only helps you get comfortable with budgeting in general but will help you commit to your budget like South Africa commits to biltong during a rugby match.

Whether it’s an app (there are a dime a dozen to choose from), your phone’s notes, an Excel sheet if that speaks to you or an actual, physical notebook for the old-school lovers among us— don’t let it be something you need to go on a quest to find. Because you’ll probably avoid it for a lot longer that way.

2. Diligence is Your New Best Friend

You’re going to need to set reminders for when you create your budget and when you check in on it. Diligence is your new best friend now.

Depending on when you get paid (weekly, monthly, bi-monthly) set up a little reminder to make your budget for the period ahead. Food, miscellaneous items, entertainment, transport, self-love treats—everything you suspect you’ll spend on until you get paid again, needs to take up space in your budget.

Only you will know which expenses apply to your lifestyle, and it’ll take a few times before you get the projected figures on the nose. Still, plan for all the things. And don’t forget to leave room for your dreams. And savings. And investments.

But, the golden rule here is to be ruthlessly diligent. You are going to be the entire Springbok squad-level of diligence.

This means tracking your expenses like it’ll win the World Cup. And being very transparent with yourself; making necessary adjustments when you need to.

3. Don’t Be Boring

Give your expense categories fun names. Who needs a transport fund when you have an ‘Adventure Expenses’ fund? If you set an alarm for budget time, make the sound of the alarm a song that always gets you fired up. And if you’re working with a notebook, go to town with highlighters. Get yourself some gold stars if you need to. The world is your budget’s oyster.

4. Shift Your Energy

The biggest way to make your budget work wonders as a young adult (or any age for that matter) is to understand why you need one. Shift your energy and perspective to understand that when you’ve got your money straight, everything else becomes a lot easier. When you know what you’re in for until you get paid again, you’re actually paying yourself with freedom of mind.

You get to manage your expectations without a million surprises, and actively work your dreams into reality because you’ll understand the concept of holding yourself accountable a lot better—a life skill that will always, always serve you.

Sources: GTG

Don’t ever miss the Good Things. Download the Good Things Guy App now on Apple or Google. 

Do you have something to add to this story? Please share it in the comments or follow GoodThingsGuy on Facebook & Twitter to keep up to date with good news as it happens, or share your good news with us by clicking here or click the link below to listen to the Good Things Guy Podcast with Brent Lindeque – South Africa’s very own Good Things Guy. He’s on a mission to change what the world pays attention to, and he truly believes there’s good news around us. In the Good Things Guy podcast, you’ll meet these everyday heroes & hear their incredible stories:

Or watch an episode of Good Things TV below, a show created to offer South Africans balance in a world with what feels like constant bad news. We’re here to remind you that there are still so many good things happening in South Africa & we’ll leave you feeling a little more proudly South African.

The post Ways to Work Wonders With Your Budget: Young Adult Edition! appeared first on Good Things Guy.